By Alina Hunter-Grah, Eve Hermann — At the Echo, crime is not a joke. But students getting busted for tomfooleries they wouldn’t do in front of their parents is pretty dang amusing. If you’re like us, the only thing you read in the Echo is the crime log, and we have been anxiously waiting to compile the best of the crime log since the semester started. If you were one of the miscreants involved in these mishaps, we hope you have changed your ways. Maybe one of us was involved in one or all of these entries. Maybe we hid the word “fart” somewhere. You will have to read to find out.

Napping is always a good idea.

May 3

15-002831 Police saw a man lying face down in the crosswalk on E. Eighth Street. A strong alcohol scent was coming from the man. The man told police that he was attempting to walk home from the bar. The man was placed under arrest and taken to the Hamilton County Justice Building.

Care.com is a lie.

Sept. 4

15-005255 A student reported a case of deceptive practices. The student was hired as a babysitter online. The student gave the employer her address in order to receive a check the employer wanted to mail to her. The student was advised to deposit the $3000 check in a checking account and to only give a certain amount to a “toy seller”. The bank called the student later to say that the check was fraudulent. Police advised the student to try to get more information from the babysitter and to report any suspicious activity near her dorm.

Hey man, how’s the game?

Sept. 19

15-005739 Police were sent to UCF apartments about an alcohol violation. While waiting outside, the police heard laughing and talking about playing beer pong. When the students opened the door, police asked how the beer pong game was going. Police were consented to search the apartment where they found one bottle of wine, three cases of beer, three bottles of vodka, and one bottle of whiskey. All eight students were sent to Student Development.

He was a scooter boy, she said see you later boy.

Sept. 20

15-005730 Police were called to Brock Hall about an accidental injury. When they arrived, they found a male lying on the sidewalk surrounded by blood. The male explained that he and his six friends had been riding scooters when he flipped over the handle bars and landed on the sidewalk. He seemed to have a broken left arm and head trauma.The male was transported to T.C. Thompson Children’s Hospital. Bleach was poured on the blood.

Probably drug related.

Sept. 21

15-005794 Police received a complaint in Holt Hall about a male with no shirt or shoes touching people. When police arrived, they saw the described male holding the arm of another. When police approached the male dropped the other’s arm and proceeded to pace back and forth while talking about black and white, circles, and pendulums. The male would not say if he took anything. He was transported to Erlanger hospital.

The night Insane Clown Posse came to UTC.

Oct. 2

15-006172 Police officers saw some students that were taking selfies dressed as clowns and holding solo cups. Police noticed the students trying to hide the cups from view. Police later saw the group inside a white vehicle and stopped them for a parking violation and light law violation. Police could smell alcohol coming from the vehicle and asked to search it. One of the students tried to put a bag with a bottle of wine underneath the car as they were getting out, but police found it. All of the students were under 21. The driver and the owner of the bottle will be sent to Student Development.

You say it best, when you say nothing at all.

Oct. 7

15-006324 A student notified police of an indecent exposure incident. The student had just left Decosimo apartments and was walking up the stairs towards the Stacy Town Center when they noticed a man staring at them. The male said nothing, but was holding his exposed genitalia in one hand. Video camera fartage shows the described male leaving the rear of the center and walking towards lot 47-4. There were no further incidents.

Live action.

Oct. 15

15-006599 An employee notified police about a possible privacy violation inside a mechanical room at the Maclellan Gym. A chair was found next to a vent bent in a way that allowed visibility into the men’s wrestling team’s locker room. The coach covered the vent until the vent could be repaired.